Teasing Stallions

 

Ahhhh, it must be spring approaching. Garage sales are beginning to bloom on every corner and the stallions are restless and constantly eyeing the mare pasture. As I headed for the corrals, the nice weather put my blonde head in a mischievous mood. I needed a stallion to tease and I thought I knew just where to find the perfect candidate!

Commander, my perlino quarter horse stallion, was dreamily hanging over his fence...the one that was right across the drive from the mare pasture. As I walked up, he happily turned his attention to me and eagerly trotted my way. The blonde in me wanted to think.... oh, he loves me so much.... but the brunette in me knows, that Commander knows.... I am the bringer-of-the-mares!

Blinking his big baby blue-eyes, Commander said with syrupy sweetness, “Boss-ett (my commander–in-chief name), you look so nice today and so do all those pretty mares of yours.”

“Commander, I brought you some news,” I responded with equal if not more sticky sweetness. Teasing him was always easier when he so blatantly opened our conversation with a con effort. “I heard that 4 new stallions moved in down the road.”

“What!?!” The blue eyes flew open and a worried look came into them. “I’m the main stallion in this valley!! We need to do something! Put out the signs, get those ads going...flyers, we need flyers. Quick paint “AVAILABLE” on my nice broad white side and I will run through the countryside at my best gallop!”

Galloping steed billboards, I had to give him credit, he was really thinking here! “Take it easy big fella, I was just teasing you! No new stallions around here at all. But speaking of teasing, it’s almost time to start teasing mares.”

When mares cycle into their breeding time of about 3-7 days, it is sometimes hard to tell when the moment of ovulation and consequently conception, will occur. So they are “teased” by bringing a stallion up to them and letting the stallion “talk” to the mare or sometimes even nuzzle her neck, nose or hip. This can be quite exciting for the stallion holder, as they become the only thing between a 1200 lb mass of seething sexual horseflesh and the object of that mas’s desire! This job is not for the beginner; the faint at heart or anyone that thinks stallions are just cute big animals!

The mare being teased will usually display certain characteristics if they are in “estrus” and ready to be bred. Most importantly they are receptive to the stallion approaching, show interest in him and stand calmly. As the stallion gets closer and starts his “love talk” a mare who is ready will usually raise her tail, “wink” her vulva (how flirty to a stallion!!) then squat and pee. This is the ultimate invitation to a stallion!! Watch out!

When a mare is not ready to breed, she says NO in a big way! She will be agitated about the stallion approaching, lay her ears back, squeal and even kick out at anything in her way. Handling the mare has it’s own demands!

One would think this whole procedure was so instinctual that it would be very straightforward. But a woman is a woman and sometimes she just needs a little time. This whole teasing process can take anywhere from 2 minutes to half an hour while the mare makes up her mind if she is really ready. Some mares are easy to tease while others are much more frustrating. We have found that mares take on many different personalities when being teased:

The “Hussy” – Tease.......YES!!!!!! Bring it on big boy!

The “Demure” – Tease.....oh, nibble my neck a little. Tease me a little more. Do you think I’m pretty? Well honey, I do believe I am ready.

The “Fickle” – Tease...no not HIM! How about that chestnut stallion over there...he’s just more my type. Bring HIM over and then maybe I’ll tell you I’m ready!

The “Scarlet O’Hara” – Tease me, tease me...NO! Tease me....oh not now dear. Flirt, flirt, tease...NO! Please tease me some more, flirt....NO! What!.... after 30 minutes you’re taking me away? OK, OK.....I’m ready!

The “Trash-Talker” – Tease.....WAHOO Big Boy!! Squeal, yes, yes, yes! Let me just out love-trash-talk you, you big hunk of horseflesh! (I have actually seen stallions get intimidated by mares who are toooo ready!)

Meanwhile, as I was musing over past teasing sessions, my own hunk of blue-eyed horseflesh had just figured out that I had been verbally teasing him. His blue eyes looked accusingly at me and he mumbled something about not being nice as he trotted back to the fence line. As I looked at the fence across the road from Commander, I chuckled as I saw 12 mares all lined up with their rears to the big boy and each one “winking” away! Sixteen feet between the fences...so near ...yet so far! I didn’t need to tease my blue-eyed wonder, I had 12 female equines to do it all for me!