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APRIL 2003 ARABIAN HORSE ISSUE |
CONTENTS |
The Grammys Butch called. A CD that he had helped produce had been nominated for a Grammy award. It appeared that he was the only one who was going to be able to attend the ceremony in New York City. He needed an acceptance speech. The artist on the CD was one of America's great western singers. Of course, there is no Grammy category for Western Music, i.e., Sons of the Pioneers type songs. There is, however, a category for traditional folk songs, so, the record company recruited some established (grown-ups) folk singers, to perform traditional (older than dirt) folky-western flavored songs with Don (my age), the aforementioned artist. That made it legal. Butch and I commenced to concoct several alternate speeches that would be appropriate for the surreal, air kissing, bizarrely-clad audience of New York City and Hollywood attendees. We tried to come up with an attention-getting opening line like, "Four score and seven years ago," or "Make Iraq our 51st state!" Then we reconsidered. "I'd like to thank all the little people," but that's been done so many times and it could be construed as prejudice against height-challenged vocal groups. We actually discussed refusing to accept it. Then make an impassioned speech chastising the Grammys for not recognizing categories such as Western Music, Bird Imitations, or Best Left-Handed Bass Players Who Play Their Instrument Upside-Down. Butch was actually renting a tuxedo, but we considered him wearing a getup that makes a statement like Elton John does, for instance. He always looks like a advertisement for M&M's. Or like the rap artist, IM 2 Door Key, whose hair is spiked and dyed fluorescent orange and looks like a cross between a Canadian thistle and a highway flare. Or he could wear woolly chaps, fringed wrist cuffs, 2-inch Mexican rowels, fuzzy earmuffs and a bare midriff. But we eliminated that outfit after he tried it on. He looked like a freshly shorn ewe. We gave some thought to possible endorsement tie-ins for future gigs for Don. Subtle references like, "I owe my life to Metamucil," or "Musicians need Prudential, too." Maybe work in an 800 number or web page. See if they'd let Butch sell copies of the CD in the lobby afterwards. In the end he decided that he better just play it simple, keep it short: "I accept this award for all the cowboys, old and new. The western singers and writers, the Hollywood actors and stuntmen, and real cowboys who continue to give it heart and soul." Congratulations boys. I'm proud of you. We didn't win, although Butch still has a few copies of the CD. High Lonesome Cowboy with Peter Rowan & Don Edwards. |
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