Murphy's Horse Laws

There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.

No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.

The least useful horse in you barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks and need the vet at least once a month.

A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.

Your favorite tack always gets chewed on, and your new blanket gets torn.

Tack you hate will never wear out and blankets you hate cannot be destroyed.

Horses you hate cannot be sold and will out live you.

Clipper blades will become dull when your horse is half clipped.

If you approach within fifty feet of your barn in clean clothes, you will get dirty.

The number of horses you own will increase to the number of stalls in your barn.

Your barn will fall down without baling twine.

Hoof picks always run a way from home.

If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.

If you are winning, then quit, because there is only one way to go. Down!

To induce labor in a mare? Take a nap.

To cure equine constipation? Load them in a clean trailer.

To cure equine insomnia? Take them in a halter class.

To get a horse to stay very calm and laid back? Enter them in a liberty class.

To get a horse to wash their own feet? Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.

To get a mare to come in heat? Take her to a show.

To get a mare in foal the first cover? Let the wrong stallion get out of his stall.

To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted? Sell her before she foals.

To get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch? Get him out late at night or anytime no one is a round to see him.

To induce a cold snap in the weather? Clip a horse.

To make it rain? Mow a field of hay.

To make a small fortune in the horse business? Start with a large one